Review: Blonde Death (1984)

“What’s wrong with a dad letting his daughter wear her momma’s big heels and walk all over daddy’s face?”

I went into this expecting an entertaining ineptitude, and nothing more. I was happily surprised to find that, while such ineptitude exists, it is clearly the result of a refusal to compromise a vision, not a lack intelligence or craft.

Every line in this film is gold and utterly quotable. It’s a hilarious, angry, screaming shit on the face of suburbia, consumerism, organised religion, sexuality – anything and everything under the sun. Writer/director James Dillinger was once called the “angriest gay man in Brooklyn” and he lives up to that title. He wields his wit like a crowbar, and every blunt joke and rant hits in a powerful, if obviously blunt fashion. This is a film where (SMALL SPOILER) the characters sneak into Disneyland (and actually film there) and poison the entire park with cyanide Tang. Take that, Escape from Tomorrow. James Dillinger, bless his bastard soul, rips my throat out and makes me cackle with what’s left.

To end this review, a bunch of wonderful quotes:

“Nice girls FUCK.”

“I’m so sexed up right now, I could pump it to a weasel in a mini-skirt.”

“When that bible study retreat collapsed, I just snapped.”

“We may even die!” “As long as you’re inside me when it happens.”

“Redneck pork belly duster driving can’t even tell a cli-TOR-is from a broken fan belt!”

“We went for a windswept drive through the vast mediocre swaths of Orange County.”

“We’re going to be one big happy menage-a-twat.”

“I haven’t cried since I saw ET, but this is too much.”

And, finally,

“Sure beats watching MTV.”